When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d
never met herbivore.
A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
Energizer battery arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn’t control her pupils ?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry ? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro – what a rip off !
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !
Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.