A peanut, a peanut, my kingdom for a peanut!

Source Preaching to the park: Squirrel captured in divine pose as he reaches to the heavens for his next meal

 

Rent what you can not fake

Rent a White Guy (preferable jew)

Despite reports of increased xenophobia in China, it’s nice to know there’s still a part-time job available in Beijing for a tall, white, male, Jewish, Harvard-educated fluent Mandarinspeaker and

DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Just smile and act smart when company has business guests.

More details here:

The worlds most racist job ad – Chinese business looking for a few good Jews

Rent a White Guy – Confessions of a fake businessman from Beijing